August 2010
4 posts
beautiful.
Jade
I have not written on this thing for a really long time. I think that my last post probably said that too. Sometimes life just takes up all the time you would normally have to blog, tweet, fb status update or whatever it might be. I can definitely say that I havent had the energy in my to write much of anything, my physical journal has been blank for the most of this year too. Which is really sad...
January 2010
2 posts
Such A Love
When such a love is birthed as this
What am I left to do
But stand aback and wonder in awe
Of the existence of I and you
I’ve dreamt dreams that before I wouldn’t dare to dream
And see in ours new things I once forbade myself to see
For I feared the end before there was yet a start
I spent the rising and fallings building an iron gate ‘round my heart
But once a rising...
Cleanse day #3
Today I woke up with energy and surprisingly did not want to vomit. Thank God. Thank God for grace and the energy I need to move forward on this thing. Just four more days.
I think I can do it. I know that I will.
I have been reading and listening to all these encouraging stories and books about building a story and making a difference and its all been very inspiring but these authors and...
August 2009
8 posts
far too much
head shaking going on these days.
far too much confusion.
things are whirling out of control.
time to hold on for the ride i guess :)
laura and mallory i love you.
we’ll make it through all these funny/awkward/tiring/sometimes awful seasons together.
sums it up.
tr.v. dis·en·chant·ed, dis·en·chant·ing, dis·en·chants To free from illusion or false belief; undeceive.
my
heart hurts.
when will it feel better?
i’m tired.
even though i have no money i think i am going to scrounge up some change and take myself to the movies tonight. i’m tired of waiting on you.
how
did it get to be like this?
that question applies to so many things that have gone wrong.
its okay though… cause there are new beginnings just around the corner. hopefully that will help ease the sting of some of these others things.
caught. and feeling lost.
the feeling of being caught is a funny thing. i pretty much hate it. even though i sort of wanted to be, i guess i just wanted you to figure me out… then when you did it felt scary.
last night was kind of not the greatest. loving someone is not easy. i guess that goes without saying but its so much different when you are in it. love is so much more than all the benefits, all of...
sometimes.
people are so unbelievable.
its moments like this that make me not want to give anyone the benefit of the doubt anymore.
my dear friend i am PISSED FOR YOU.
you
DO NOT
deserve this.
the end.
July 2009
2 posts
sick.
you make me sick.
and every moment spent here is a moment that is being counted.
its a count down to when i will have the last moment that i will ever have to spend in this place. i am so tired of being drained by your dysfunction. this place is a joke and so is everything you try to achieve. you say that my problems are NOT your problems? that is interesting because there are so many COUNTLESS...
YES - Peace.
I wish i would have just known you were doing it so i didnt have to sit there and transcribe it as well. hahaha.
Laura, I love you. We will get through this together. Both of us have so much healing and so much growing to go through. I love your heart and your soul and I cant wait to journey through learning more about God and his love with you.
You are the bestest… and remember no one on...
June 2009
1 post
havent posted in trillions of minutes
yeah. i think its been about that long.
i just flew into baltimore, im currently sitting on a pretty dandy holiday inn bed right now. this hotel room actually supercedes all of my previous experiences at holiday inn’s.
anywho.
it was a tremendously long day. going on four hours of sleep at this point, and although its 3 am here… my body is still on LA time which is midnight and well...
March 2009
4 posts
OMG.
this is what i am doing instead of working today…
looking at freaking cute pictures of baby animals… why?
cause they make me way happier than filing papers or getting yelled at by the boss…
enjoy… really… cause how can you not?
WHATTT the heck is this thing???
I think..
agh. this is so my life too. oh geez.
what are we going to do?
its sad that i think i am booked clear until april.
what the heck?
i want everything to stop for a few moments
…
oh yeah Laura, - btw do you have time for a meeting this week? hahaha
(i’m not kidding.)
dancetoomuchbootyinthepants:
your life is too busy when you have to schedule in showering. Not gonna lie, it’s...
mmm city and colour on postsecret.com
i was just...
February 2009
8 posts
missing seattle.
i already miss the seattle days even thought they were just yesterday but i dont miss missing you thats the best consolation prize when i know that los angeles is where i will stay i feel sort of like a little kid called out in class not knowing the answer this is so embarrassing for me i am terrified by the way i feel when i look in your eyes they just speak to me something much further...
we'll just have to wait and see...
This is the first day of my life Swear I was born right in the doorway I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed They’re spreading blankets on the beach Yours was the first face that I saw I think I was blind before I met you I don’t know where I am, I don’t know where I’ve been But I know where I want to go So I thought I’d let you know That...
laura...
have i ever mentioned to you how much i love you? hehe… this picture is the cutest ever. :) look at your cute little pixie nose!!!!! askhjfkshaf i am so in love with you. ahhaa
this is a baby brand new blog
today doesnt feel brand new though.
it feels stale and harsh. i dont know how to be or how to deal. i just want everything to stop for a moment in time. i am so hurt and so sucked dry of everything in me that is good.
there are so many blessings to count - so many accomplishments to see but i cant fight my way out through my own depression… i dont know what is happening - i am sinking...